1. Visit your high school, Carmen.
Good idea, in theory. I drove in with an old friend, which proved to be exciting, and then traipsed about the campus finding the classes I wanted to stop into. I caught up with professors, young'ns, and administrators before heading out to the city for [part 2].
It was a lovely visit until the incident. I have a few friends who like to tease me, and altogether I have a sense of humor about myself that makes that possible and comfortable. To be honest, this is something I'm fixing, as being perceived as passive, easygoing, and casual has proved to be a source of unfulfilled responses and post-situational reflections of aggression. When the source of the teasing proves to be my appearance and my relationship status, however, it proves to be meaningful in more than one way.
The idea, first of all, that The American Dream has completely infiltrated my way of life was only reinforced by the feedbacks I received today. The teasing centered on how much attention I was (or rather, was not) receiving- not from people, for I've proven social on campus- but from interested, straight, men. My friend, who I really do treasure and know did not mean to activate such a response from me, decided it would be appropriate to devalue me in the form of negative comments, snide remarks, and generally bad attitude about my single lifestyle, one I've maintained since embarking on the collegiate journey. Her other feedbacks dealt with my weight, and how my appearance had varied- and whenever she talked about the changes, she referred to how "hot" I was, how "sexy" I was, etc.- all words insinuating that you are putting yourself out there for objectification and someone else's consumption.
So here I am, trapped again in the patriarchy, and only after the situation did I realize the impact. Why is it that, in our society, it is okay to consider status and value as transmittable through how attractive we are (to men) and how much attention we receive (from men) as women?
2. THE LINE: Coffee Date
I met with Melanie, the other intern for Nancy, and Melissa, the co-leader of THE LINE Campaign, for coffee in Manhattan today. We shacked up at a lovely little café and talked for hours about how to execute the marketing and such, and even about the cultures on the West and East Coasts and the issues behind being a sexually liberated woman.
Working on THE LINE has proven to be an experience that alters the lens I see issues of sexuality and partner violence. My lens, and the way I internalize most feminist and women's issues, is one of finding the root of societal injustices toward women and then looking outward to the surface to see how patriarchy, gender, femininity, etc. all shape life for women and how we're perceived, subconsciously and consciously, by those around us.
Working on THE LINE, however, has forced me to look from the surface down. The immediate goal of the project is to bring the campaign to colleges during welcome weeks, orientations, and Octobers before women are confronted with boundaries, issues of consent, and sexual violence or aggression; the hope is that the film can begin discussions of respect for partner violence and sexual situations in the lives of viewing students. It is a valuable piece for all people desiring to prove that rape is not always a stranger in the bushes, a film that will make people realize that rape can no longer be left to legislators and others to define and that we must learn respect before challenging the boundaries of others or the validity of their experiences. I am excited for the work we will do, and look forward to being directly and indirectly involved in discussions on campuses nationwide about consent and where "the line" truly lies.
Unlike rape culture, patriarchy, sexism, and femininity, the concept of THE LINE is much more individual- no theory, no social analysis can ever define an individual's boundaries sexually and romantically, and that is what makes this documentary so much more consumable and interesting. Instead of challenging an establishment or a societal trend, Nancy challenges the viewers to become completely comfortable with where they are sexually, what they want, and where they draw "the line."
Ah, it's looking like a really great summer- even if I'm single and "sexy."
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